Have you suffered from emetophobia for as long as you can remember? Does it feel like a forever phobia – a phobia that will plague you for the rest of your life? I promise you can get better. Against all odds, I did. Here’s my story.
The Phobia’s Tight Grip
Growing up in the 80s, I didn’t know anyone who shared my fear of vomit. I had never heard the term “emetophobia.” There was no internet to search for more information about the phobia or to find a community of fellow sufferers. And so, I suffered alone and in silence. It was too embarrassing to tell my elementary school friends that the reason I didn’t want to go with them to an amusement park was because I was scared I’d witness someone vomiting. In high school and college, I avoided drinking alcohol and doing recreational drugs and attending late-night
parties, all stemming from this persistent fear of vomit.
As Carl Jung, aptly said, “What you resist, persists.” And so, while I tried fervently to avoid vomit, I was paradoxically obsessed with it. Every stain on the sidewalk must be vomit. Every time I saw a car pulled over on the side of the road, I assumed someone was car sick. Vomit was everywhere.
My regular sessions with a psychoanalyst did nothing to loosen the tight grip of emetophobia. I had heard of “exposure therapy” as being a tool for getting over the phobia, but there’s nothing I wanted less than to be exposed to the very thing I spent my whole life desperately trying to avoid.
Rock Bottom
Every emetophobe has a rock-bottom moment before they attempt exposure therapy. The moment when something so terrible happens, you feel that you must do something so extreme because living with the fear is no longer an option. In my case, it was when I picked up my infant daughter from her crib and she vomited on me. I handed her to my husband while my vision blurred and I fainted. My daughter needed me and I was face-planted on her bedroom carpet.
My Recovery Journey
So, I had to do the unthinkable: I started exposure therapy (now known as Exposure and Response Prevention – ERP – therapy). After four months of weekly sessions with my therapist Dr. David Yusko, PsyD and daily homework exercises, I achieved something I had previously thought impossible: I became a parent who was able to nurture her vomiting child. When my kids are sick, rather than run away or lose consciousness, I am present and take care of them. I no longer think about vomit every second of the day. I can attend children’s birthday parties and go to amusement parks and be in large crowds without being an anxious mess. This new freedom is life-changing: I no longer live in fear of vomit.
Documenting my Journey to Recovery
I was amazed that I could be on the other side of recovery and I wanted other emetophobes to know that they, too, could achieve a life without vomit-related anxiety and fear. So, with Dr. Yusko, I co-wrote Gag Reflections: Conquering a Fear of Vomit Through Exposure Therapy, which chronicles my recovery journey. The book offers hope and practical guidance to others trapped by emetophobia.
The Emetophobia Institute Workshops
I partnered with Dr. Yusko again to create the Emetophobia Institute. Our Emetophobia Institute offers virtual workshops for emetophobes to help them achieve recovery. We also have programs for therapists – these courses teach therapists how to help their clients overcome emetophobia, offering both introductory as well as advanced treatment protocols, accompanied by continuing
education credits (CEU).
Not the Forever Phobia
I know that on your toughest days, you feel doomed to live your life in fear. But I promise you: Emetophobia is not a forever phobia. You can absolutely conquer it. If you’re ready to take the first step, I encourage you to read our book and explore our workshops at the Emetophobia Institute. Together, we can help you break free from the chains of emetophobia.
Dara Lovitz is a lawyer, professor, and author who is thrilled to not think about vomit all the time anymore. You can find her other works at www.DaraLovitz.com.