As an emetophobic, it can be hard to truly appreciate the holidays. You often have to travel by car or plane, stay at someone else’s house, eat food cooked by someone else, and put up with all the family members including little ones who can be germy to say the least.
Our Canadian Thanksgiving has passed now, but I am aware that most of my clients are from the USA, and their Thanksgiving is looming. Not being thankful, in fact not enjoying oneself, can bring with it guilt and shame. Everyone else is having a good time sharing food and wine, stories and games. You might be curled up in a chair away from people staring at your phone, not wanting to eat. “Waiting.”
Many ask me if I have any “tips” for getting through the holidays. I do not. Recovering from a serious anxiety disorder such as emetophobia is not about tips or five steps to a cure, or a quick fix. It is a slow, methodical process; a road that is straight uphill. Let me share this with you, however: you can do it. You can get through the holidays; you can cope with whatever happens. You know darn well you’re going to wash your hands and not put them or anything you’ve touched in your mouth anyway. So the chances of YOU getting sick are pretty much non-existent. If other people are sick that would be upsetting, but nothing bad will happen to you. You may be afraid, but you’ll be ok. Try to remember this – write it on a little card, perhaps, and take it with you for the weekend. Refer to it whenever you feel your anxiety start to rise.
What about being thankful? Everyone else will talk about being thankful for food (probably not you) and for family (even those germy kids?) and for other various aspects of privilege. You may feel that while you’re suffering so much, you don’t feel very thankful for your life at all. When I was a kid, I made the same wish blowing out the candles on every birthday cake: I wish I didn’t have this phobia! I figured the wishing didn’t work. But here I am at 61, nearly twenty years completely free of it. So maybe it worked after all. It just wasn’t instant.
Here are a few thanksgivings to ponder:
- I am thankful that I live in America (or any other country that celebrates Thanksgiving). There is treatment for emetophobia here.
- I am thankful that I live in the information age, so I can find out lots about emetophobia right at my fingertips.
- I am thankful that I live in the age of Social Media, so I don’t feel alone with this and it’s pretty easy to have someone to “talk to.”
- I am thankful that people are studying emetophobia and conducting research all the time, so it may be easier to get treatment very soon.
- I am thankful that people are working diligently on developing a Norovirus vaccine!